[He's wrong. About him being sentimental, about people not seeing heart first, about his own heart doing him few favors. What were all of these people falling for now, then? There were many ways to get someone to like you. Naturally, or with various formulas.
Little things mattered. Facing someone directly, leaning in when they spoke, keeping eye contact, touching them affectionately in small ways. Small gestures that meant things to the other party, like holding open doors, or bringing them coffee. It was second nature.
He knew how to do it, but there were barriers in his way. Perhaps that was what annoyed him. Here he was, stuck on Mattias, caring far too much about him despite all of the same things that would infuriate him continuing to appear. Bad news about his own goals back home had him worried, not sure if he held enough hope to continue on, but too desperate to turn it away.
His mind was a mess. He was breaking, and even he was recognizing it.
This long pause is spent just staring at Mattias working, expression flicking into brief winces that he wipes away quickly.]
Well, I am still here. [He looks upwards, trying to catch his eyes again. Another callback, this time to just earlier today.]
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Date: 2015-05-07 05:53 am (UTC)[He's wrong. About him being sentimental, about people not seeing heart first, about his own heart doing him few favors. What were all of these people falling for now, then? There were many ways to get someone to like you. Naturally, or with various formulas.
Little things mattered. Facing someone directly, leaning in when they spoke, keeping eye contact, touching them affectionately in small ways. Small gestures that meant things to the other party, like holding open doors, or bringing them coffee. It was second nature.
He knew how to do it, but there were barriers in his way. Perhaps that was what annoyed him. Here he was, stuck on Mattias, caring far too much about him despite all of the same things that would infuriate him continuing to appear. Bad news about his own goals back home had him worried, not sure if he held enough hope to continue on, but too desperate to turn it away.
His mind was a mess. He was breaking, and even he was recognizing it.
This long pause is spent just staring at Mattias working, expression flicking into brief winces that he wipes away quickly.]
Well, I am still here. [He looks upwards, trying to catch his eyes again. Another callback, this time to just earlier today.]