[His gaze drops at that, and Ryan remains silent for some time before he finally answers.]

I'm trying. I was trying before I ever said anything.

[Ryan shifts, moving to scoot down so that he can tuck his head beneath Oren's chin, press his face into his neck. His voice is muffled against skin, breath warm against Oren's chill.]

I don't know what I'm doing, Oren. I'm a fucking fish. This-- this isn't supposed to be my biggest problem right now, I should have worse shit to worry about.