[He laughs, but it's bashful. His chest feels tight and his heart flutters against his chest. Self-consciously, he tucks a strand of hair behind his ear, gaze flickering to Oren's eyes and then away.]
Careful. [He dabs a cut with a bit too much alcohol. Enough to sting. Just slight punishment for making him swoon.] Any more compliments and you'll have me thinking you mean to spend the night.
[It stings, and he closes one eye to cope with it, laughing in his own soft way. This is too tempting. Mattias is playing along, but not enough for it to be a solid deal. He kind of likes that, actually.
But goddess is it torture.]
If you continue to be so harsh, how will I be able to stand, let alone leave? [Half joking, half hopeful flirting in return. He's speaking of that alcohol and those words at the same time. The stinging of his cuts and the pulling at his heart. How cruel, how alluring. But Oren keeps it subtle, keeps it back from being too strong and demanding, but puts it out there enough to be plain as day.
It's a fun game they're playing, and his heart aches for more.]
With your legs, presumably. I can refresh your mind in due time if you've forgotten.
[The last of the cuts is cleaned and he sets the cloth aside, withdrawing a couple bandages that he carefully places.] My words surely haven't left you disabled.
[The hold stills him, and his eyes look up slowly to meet Mattias' before they move back down to their hands.]
Dangerous. [It's not really clear if he's repeating that in amusement or saying that for some other reason, but it's accompanied with a small smile that creeps up along with his eyes once more. Mattias' are nicer like this. Without Nocta.]
You flatter me, Mattias. Is this meant to heal, as well?
[It's a tragic thing, feeling him slip away like that, and it's a little infuriating that it is. But Oren watches quietly, glancing from Mattias' hands to his face before he presses on with a thin smile. To act too forward would only make things worse, right?
This time is precious, but he should note Mattias' actions.
What an unfair question. [His fingers thread in and out, trying new patterns, new formations.] How am I able to answer without sounding cruel?
[He sighs, tipping his head up and slumping in his seat.] The answer is both yes and no but I fear obligation forces me to choose the former. Your wounds should heal in a few days time. You've no more need of me.
[ he frowns, shifting in his seat and pausing with a brief laugh as he gestures over to vinlates. He's currently vibrating into a corner of the room, "tail" rattling about. ]
It seems Vinlates could use your guidance, as well.
Oh, goddess. [Immediately, he stands and goes to fetch the beast, picking it up by the tail and setting it on the bed beside him. It continues to vibrate about, noise muffled by the sheets. Mattias watches it curiously.]
I do wonder if it ever stops moving. [He sighs, looking back to Oren, hands folded in his lap.] He's a troublesome creature, that's for certain. I'm not sure we knew what we were getting into.
[He watches as it nuzzles into a pile of blankets, keeping Oren in the corner of his eye.] I expect joint custody, you know.
[It's an excuse to stay longer, conversation like this, and so Oren doesn't mind sitting here and watching... whatever it is vibrate around on the bed. Mattias' words are comical, somehow, and he laughs, shaking his head.]
Custody is a concern already? Are we separated?
[He pauses a little bit after that, letting it trail a little sadly into silence as his eyes rest on that ring of Mattias'. How many times has he seen it now? No, actually, when hasn't he worn it?]
I've been wondering. [He starts casually as he can, pulling this out of the blue, and leans forward a little to gesture at Mattias' hands. He's troubled, jealous, curious, but he tries to seem calm.] Is that ring a souvenir? A gift? Since it's appeared, there hasn't been a day where I've seen you remove it.
[He stutters at the mention, not in speech but in motion. His hands cover each other quickly, trying a variety of movements and yet nothing seems to hide it. His smile grows strained and he wets his lips as he weighs his options. Telling a lie would only become a burden so, reluctantly, he chooses the truth.]
It's a gift. [He fidgets with it.] From Robin. He [a deep breath] gave it to me before you arrived. I took an oath to always wear it.
[Steeling himself, he looks up to Oren with a wan smile while his fingers curl into the fabric of his pants.]
[It flattens his smile, and his own hands press together in front of himself. Specially crafted for him. The words spark a fire in him, and he's not even sure which side he's more irritated by. More jealous of.]
And to think he had talked down your importance. That sly dog. [He looks down at his lap with a dry laugh.]
I hadn't realized it was so personal. My apologies.
[The room is tighter, a corset around his chest making his spine rigid and breathing short. His throat is useless, refusing air and catching on his tongue. A smile struggles and all he can think of is the emotion of Michael's reunion. Tek's first warning. Was this the thread of his web suffocating him? It was a strange sensation, the world surging in, and he tries to battle it with shallow breaths that only make his head feel lighter.
He ends up laughing. At the feeling, at the uncertainty, at the fear, at himself. At everything. It's a nervous sound, one that shakes the body more than the air, and it ends quickly as it comes. He smiles again, teeth showing, but it's forced. His eyes are in a different place.]
[Breathing in deeper helps and in a matter of minutes his composure slips back on. He looks up and that pleasant smile is back with a soft chuckle.] If he wanted to propose, he would have given me a necklace.
[Propose? Mattias cared that much for him? His own stomach twists into a knot, but on his face, his eyebrows pinch together in concern. He stands just to sit on the edge of the bed next to him, not too close, but close enough to place a hand to his shoulder and lean in.]
Mattias. [Concern leaks from his lips with expertise, and his frown is perfectly shaped. His eyes move from Mattias' face to his hands and back to his face again, and he gives his shoulder a light squeeze.]
Mattias. [The composure is back, but Oren has already seen the light. Connected the pieces.] Are you alright? Is he-- [There's no real classy way of asking if Robin has done anything to him, but hanging off into silence abruptly works just as well.]
I'd thought it was only me who caused your absence, but... Is there more on your mind? [He hesitates slightly and lets his hand slide down his arm a bit.] Is there anything I can do?
[Oren's had feels like a current pressing against him. It's distracting, encroaching and does little to make his world feel any less claustrophobic. His mask is faltering, a thin veil stretching apart with every moment that passes. He needs to dismiss the subject. Bring them on to something else but his mind is working for a topic and finding nothing.
He presses a hand against Oren's chest, smiling harder to reassure him.]
No. No. It's nothing like that. He—we're friends. [He ignores the way the ground feels unstable as he says that.] I just needed to get away. From it all. It—it has nothing to do with any of you.
He holds the words back, moving his hand from Mattias' arm to grip the one at his chest. It's light at first, but he squeezes, sitting up straighter to allow him some space.]
I understand. [Two simple words, but he hopes they carry the weight they're meant to. He actually does understand the need to get away.]
You know, I do miss our talks. [He releases his hand and presses it against the bed, urging him to keep it there, to keep calm.] I realize that they may not be the same at this point, but if your mind ails you, please consider speaking to me.
[They could have fun like they used to. Take walks, vent, see sights, forget about the burdens.]
You've caught me; I'm worried about you. [He smiles with that, small and charming.] And I'd like if I didn't have to say it again.
[One of the miracles to Oren is the contagion in his smiles. They're a plague that sweeps through him and dregs up relief and comfort. Space expands, the air feels lighter and those words mean everything. For once, he feels genuine. For once, he rings true.
It's exactly what he needed to hear.
He returns the smile in tenfold, a breathy laugh breaking through. He ducks his head, bites his lip. Resist the urge to thread their fingers together.]
Even if I asked politely?
[He laughs again, holding up a hand and shaking his head. Joking, joking. Biting back his smile, he raises his head.] Thank you.
[Oren is an anchor and the chaotic tide. He's a sandstorm and a shelter. For too long, Mattias has only remembered one of the two. He's happy. Elated and trying to keep calm, ignoring how his heart swells and his lungs flood. He could kiss him now, in this moment. A peck to the cheek. But he resists, watching their joined hands fondly.]
I haven't slept with anyone, you know. [He glances up with a wry grin.] When you called me drunk? I haven't slept with anyone since I left the ship.
[He gets that smile back and it's a victory. Even when those last words cause both relief and hesitation (since I left the ship, he says. why specify that?), he finds himself smoothing his thumb over the back of Mattias' hand.
He's reassuring him. Being honest. It's a good sign, but it's one he has to follow up on. He has to stay in this light, and it's a constant dance. One he knows well.]
...So you did sit through the entirety of those?
[His laugh is weak, but it's practiced. It comes out smooth like most everything he does, and he slows his thumb finally.] It's-- You speak so humbly of your own traits, but I can't help but notice the ones around you who are enamored.
[He raises his free hand, rubbing at the back of his neck as his head lowers the slightest. Like he's admitting something secret (and in a way, this is a drop in pride, revealing any amount of his jealousy), or like he's a little embarrassed.]
Robin, as well. Especially, I'd say. [He pulls his own hand back, dropping the other and gripping them together in his lap. It's almost a wringing motion.]
It's not that he was speaking lowly of you at all, I hope you realize. It's that I questioned him on it directly and he continued to brush it off. He questioned my closeness with you, as well.
[Slowly, he looks up to Mattias, his hands gripping each other tight.]
I thought that... perhaps with him... [He shakes his head, separating his hands so he can raise one to wave it off.] It wasn't my place to accuse you.
No. [He chuckles, waving a hand halfway through Oren's apology.] No. Robin and I—[He sighs.]—While I can't say I'd be adverse to the idea, it wouldn't—there are complications. We're... It's unlikely to happen.
[As much as he desires otherwise. Still, the tension in his shoulders lessens and when he smiles at Oren it's easy. Fonder than before. Slowly, his hands wrap around Oren's own.] Still, it's a relief to hear clarification. I... [his hands fall away, moving back to fiddle with the ring.] ... am a man of foolish hope.
[He laughs breathlessly, gaze flickering to Oren and back, shy, at first, before he pauses. Grins. Leans back with a growing smirk. Oren was jealous, not simply of flirtatious aliens but of anyone getting close. It was flattering, in a way. The right kind of protection.] You truly have grown possessive, haven't you?
[Wouldn't be adverse. But it's unlikely? The first part infuriates him (he can't put his finger on why), but the second confirms his thoughts. He and Robin are already tearing themselves apart. The brief touch of their hands is nice, but it slips away just as fast, and Oren is left staring at Mattias.
Possessiveness comes up and he has to turn away, looking a little exasperated.]
Oh, come off it.
[Maybe it was so pride damaging and annoying because he couldn't explain it himself. The usual hurt of jealousy stings, and he's sure Enkythos is loving all of these moments. He crosses one leg over the other.]
It's nothing so unflattering. You do realize how long you left my calls unanswered? What am I to think of myself in a scenario like this?
[It's all excuses meant to wave Mattias off from speaking on it more than any real defense-- because he has none.
That we had a fight and I still refused to speak to you.
[Partway through he stands, gathering his supplies and getting rid of them. Tossing the shards in the trash, bringing the towels to the bathroom. The sound of rushing water can be heard as he calls out from inside:]
Or perhaps that I was dead. Yet sex is where you leapt. [He comes to the doorway of the bathroom, watching Oren with the barest smirk.] How telling.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2015-05-07 07:15 pm (UTC)Careful. [He dabs a cut with a bit too much alcohol. Enough to sting. Just slight punishment for making him swoon.] Any more compliments and you'll have me thinking you mean to spend the night.
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Date: 2015-05-07 07:20 pm (UTC)But goddess is it torture.]
If you continue to be so harsh, how will I be able to stand, let alone leave? [Half joking, half hopeful flirting in return. He's speaking of that alcohol and those words at the same time. The stinging of his cuts and the pulling at his heart. How cruel, how alluring. But Oren keeps it subtle, keeps it back from being too strong and demanding, but puts it out there enough to be plain as day.
It's a fun game they're playing, and his heart aches for more.]
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Date: 2015-05-07 07:24 pm (UTC)[The last of the cuts is cleaned and he sets the cloth aside, withdrawing a couple bandages that he carefully places.] My words surely haven't left you disabled.
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Date: 2015-05-07 07:38 pm (UTC)[He says that lightly though, reaching up to touch at one of the bandages on his face.]
And my face is no good like this. Tight pants won't save me now.
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Date: 2015-05-07 07:42 pm (UTC)Suffer for a few days and return more dazzling than ever. [He smiles.] Besides, they make you seem dangerous. It's not a bad look.
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Date: 2015-05-07 07:53 pm (UTC)Dangerous. [It's not really clear if he's repeating that in amusement or saying that for some other reason, but it's accompanied with a small smile that creeps up along with his eyes once more. Mattias' are nicer like this. Without Nocta.]
You flatter me, Mattias. Is this meant to heal, as well?
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Date: 2015-05-07 07:59 pm (UTC)All wounds heal, Oren. It's simply a matter of how well.
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Date: 2015-05-07 08:12 pm (UTC)This time is precious, but he should note Mattias' actions.
He leans forward just slightly.]
Do you want me to leave?
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Date: 2015-05-07 08:16 pm (UTC)[He sighs, tipping his head up and slumping in his seat.] The answer is both yes and no but I fear obligation forces me to choose the former. Your wounds should heal in a few days time. You've no more need of me.
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Date: 2015-05-07 08:33 pm (UTC)[ he frowns, shifting in his seat and pausing with a brief laugh as he gestures over to vinlates. He's currently vibrating into a corner of the room, "tail" rattling about. ]
It seems Vinlates could use your guidance, as well.
i can't fucking deal with this
Date: 2015-05-07 08:50 pm (UTC)I do wonder if it ever stops moving. [He sighs, looking back to Oren, hands folded in his lap.] He's a troublesome creature, that's for certain. I'm not sure we knew what we were getting into.
[He watches as it nuzzles into a pile of blankets, keeping Oren in the corner of his eye.] I expect joint custody, you know.
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Date: 2015-05-08 02:08 am (UTC)Custody is a concern already? Are we separated?
[He pauses a little bit after that, letting it trail a little sadly into silence as his eyes rest on that ring of Mattias'. How many times has he seen it now? No, actually, when hasn't he worn it?]
I've been wondering. [He starts casually as he can, pulling this out of the blue, and leans forward a little to gesture at Mattias' hands. He's troubled, jealous, curious, but he tries to seem calm.] Is that ring a souvenir? A gift? Since it's appeared, there hasn't been a day where I've seen you remove it.
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Date: 2015-05-08 02:22 am (UTC)It's a gift. [He fidgets with it.] From Robin. He [a deep breath] gave it to me before you arrived. I took an oath to always wear it.
[Steeling himself, he looks up to Oren with a wan smile while his fingers curl into the fabric of his pants.]
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Date: 2015-05-08 02:24 am (UTC)[It sends his mind reeling. Not just a gift, but one from Robin. One that he's sworn to always wear? Why? For what purpose?]
That sounds rather serious... Does it serve a purpose?
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Date: 2015-05-08 02:29 am (UTC)No, no. Nothing like that. It was specially crafted. [His eyes flicker to Oren's before looking away.] For me.
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Date: 2015-05-08 02:36 am (UTC)And to think he had talked down your importance. That sly dog. [He looks down at his lap with a dry laugh.]
I hadn't realized it was so personal. My apologies.
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Date: 2015-05-08 02:57 am (UTC)He ends up laughing. At the feeling, at the uncertainty, at the fear, at himself. At everything. It's a nervous sound, one that shakes the body more than the air, and it ends quickly as it comes. He smiles again, teeth showing, but it's forced. His eyes are in a different place.]
N-No. [His composure is slipping. He ducks his head to hide it, fingers scrambling to pull the ring off. Throw it somewhere, maybe. Stash it. The oath was made in naiveté. It could be broken.] There's no need for that. It's simply a ring. A gift. There's—[it won't come off no matter how hard he tries. His fingers can't grip it or rather they won't. Really, even now he was a fool.]—there's no meaning to such trinkets.
[Breathing in deeper helps and in a matter of minutes his composure slips back on. He looks up and that pleasant smile is back with a soft chuckle.] If he wanted to propose, he would have given me a necklace.
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Date: 2015-05-08 03:06 am (UTC)Mattias. [Concern leaks from his lips with expertise, and his frown is perfectly shaped. His eyes move from Mattias' face to his hands and back to his face again, and he gives his shoulder a light squeeze.]
Mattias. [The composure is back, but Oren has already seen the light. Connected the pieces.] Are you alright? Is he-- [There's no real classy way of asking if Robin has done anything to him, but hanging off into silence abruptly works just as well.]
I'd thought it was only me who caused your absence, but... Is there more on your mind? [He hesitates slightly and lets his hand slide down his arm a bit.] Is there anything I can do?
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Date: 2015-05-08 03:25 am (UTC)He presses a hand against Oren's chest, smiling harder to reassure him.]
No. No. It's nothing like that. He—we're friends. [He ignores the way the ground feels unstable as he says that.] I just needed to get away. From it all. It—it has nothing to do with any of you.
[It had everything to do with all of them.]
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Date: 2015-05-08 03:43 am (UTC)He holds the words back, moving his hand from Mattias' arm to grip the one at his chest. It's light at first, but he squeezes, sitting up straighter to allow him some space.]
I understand. [Two simple words, but he hopes they carry the weight they're meant to. He actually does understand the need to get away.]
You know, I do miss our talks. [He releases his hand and presses it against the bed, urging him to keep it there, to keep calm.] I realize that they may not be the same at this point, but if your mind ails you, please consider speaking to me.
[They could have fun like they used to. Take walks, vent, see sights, forget about the burdens.]
You've caught me; I'm worried about you. [He smiles with that, small and charming.] And I'd like if I didn't have to say it again.
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Date: 2015-05-08 05:40 am (UTC)It's exactly what he needed to hear.
He returns the smile in tenfold, a breathy laugh breaking through. He ducks his head, bites his lip. Resist the urge to thread their fingers together.]
Even if I asked politely?
[He laughs again, holding up a hand and shaking his head. Joking, joking. Biting back his smile, he raises his head.] Thank you.
[Oren is an anchor and the chaotic tide. He's a sandstorm and a shelter. For too long, Mattias has only remembered one of the two. He's happy. Elated and trying to keep calm, ignoring how his heart swells and his lungs flood. He could kiss him now, in this moment. A peck to the cheek. But he resists, watching their joined hands fondly.]
I haven't slept with anyone, you know. [He glances up with a wry grin.] When you called me drunk? I haven't slept with anyone since I left the ship.
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Date: 2015-05-08 05:57 am (UTC)He's reassuring him. Being honest. It's a good sign, but it's one he has to follow up on. He has to stay in this light, and it's a constant dance. One he knows well.]
...So you did sit through the entirety of those?
[His laugh is weak, but it's practiced. It comes out smooth like most everything he does, and he slows his thumb finally.] It's-- You speak so humbly of your own traits, but I can't help but notice the ones around you who are enamored.
[He raises his free hand, rubbing at the back of his neck as his head lowers the slightest. Like he's admitting something secret (and in a way, this is a drop in pride, revealing any amount of his jealousy), or like he's a little embarrassed.]
Robin, as well. Especially, I'd say. [He pulls his own hand back, dropping the other and gripping them together in his lap. It's almost a wringing motion.]
It's not that he was speaking lowly of you at all, I hope you realize. It's that I questioned him on it directly and he continued to brush it off. He questioned my closeness with you, as well.
[Slowly, he looks up to Mattias, his hands gripping each other tight.]
I thought that... perhaps with him... [He shakes his head, separating his hands so he can raise one to wave it off.] It wasn't my place to accuse you.
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Date: 2015-05-08 06:35 am (UTC)[As much as he desires otherwise. Still, the tension in his shoulders lessens and when he smiles at Oren it's easy. Fonder than before. Slowly, his hands wrap around Oren's own.] Still, it's a relief to hear clarification. I... [his hands fall away, moving back to fiddle with the ring.] ... am a man of foolish hope.
[He laughs breathlessly, gaze flickering to Oren and back, shy, at first, before he pauses. Grins. Leans back with a growing smirk. Oren was jealous, not simply of flirtatious aliens but of anyone getting close. It was flattering, in a way. The right kind of protection.] You truly have grown possessive, haven't you?
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Date: 2015-05-08 06:48 am (UTC)Possessiveness comes up and he has to turn away, looking a little exasperated.]
Oh, come off it.
[Maybe it was so pride damaging and annoying because he couldn't explain it himself. The usual hurt of jealousy stings, and he's sure Enkythos is loving all of these moments. He crosses one leg over the other.]
It's nothing so unflattering. You do realize how long you left my calls unanswered? What am I to think of myself in a scenario like this?
[It's all excuses meant to wave Mattias off from speaking on it more than any real defense-- because he has none.
He is possessive.]
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Date: 2015-05-08 06:56 am (UTC)That we had a fight and I still refused to speak to you.
[Partway through he stands, gathering his supplies and getting rid of them. Tossing the shards in the trash, bringing the towels to the bathroom. The sound of rushing water can be heard as he calls out from inside:]
Or perhaps that I was dead. Yet sex is where you leapt. [He comes to the doorway of the bathroom, watching Oren with the barest smirk.] How telling.
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